Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny

Starring: Jack Black, Kyle Gass.
Directed by: Liam Lynch
Release Date: November 2006
Trailer: [Via YouTube][Via Apple Movies]

This is what you've been waiting for right? For a good old fashioned movie trashing. Well you're about to get it. Pick of Destiny is a horrific film in almost every possible way, allow me to explain.

First things first, what's it all about, when you get right down to it? Well...Jack Black leaves his rock hating father (Meatloaf in a wasted cameo) behind, and heads for Hollywood on the advice of aged rocker Ronnie James Dio, who speaks (sings) to him via a poster in a prophetic manner. There he meets Kyle Gass and after a rocky start involving a pizza guy, a lot of weed and some arse birthmarks, Tenacious D is formed. They go on to discover a demon guitar pick made from the tooth of Satan is the reason for the skill of so many great rockers past. And now they simply must have it or face the fate of not being able to pay the rent.

Wait, what? Demon guitar picks you say? Well...It's outrageous, but there's nothing wrong with that in itself. The little vignette that explains the pick is one of the better moments of the film, being funny and a treat visually. The backbone of the film is an amusing concept, everyone knows that Satan is inextricably tied with rock music. The fact that the film meanders towards its conclusion through all the predictable paths (and some bizarre ones) is less satisfying. You'll have the plight, the discovery, the mission, the break up, the reconciliation, the triumph turning to failure, and the realisation. The D does a job of letting you know, that they know, that this is standard fare for movies, by highlighting the most recognisable chapters on screen. This does not make the film any less predictable or bizarre in its choices. At one point Jack Black will comment on the extra brake in the teaching car he's driving, (which belongs to the pizza guy character who seems to have no other use at all than to lend the duo his car) you don't have to be a genius to see that's going to be a factor later on.

The film is disjointed and flows badly, some of the scenes feel tacked on and pointless. It doesn't help itself by starting off slowly and then feeling oddly rushed as the story reaches its point, or what little of a point it has. It's poorly written from a comedic standpoint, containing more than one instance of questionable humour. In the first five minutes of the film we're treated to fart jokes and the word poo at least twice. That's kind of base level of comedy we're dealing with here. We'll see Jack Black pulling his array of stupid faces, doing his silly voices and generally dancing around in a comedic fat man manner, all the things Jack Black does best. Kyle will provide little to none of the laughs, preferring to languish in the realms of badly acting the 'straight man' instead.



Let's just get this little nugget out of the way, if you ever thought a man landing on a tree branch testicles first was hilarious, then you're in safe hands. I certainly thought we were well past the days of that old joke, the D seem to think there's a few more laughs in it yet. Ever think it would be funny if someone shit themselves while they happened to be on the toilet? Ever laugh at that old chestnut and favourite of American sitcoms, the wig reveal? And oh man, look at those guys, they're so stoned! I can barely contain my laughter.

It's not all bad on the comedy front, there are some genuine laugh out loud moments, even with this kind of dumb comedy (let's face it, we all loved Dumb and Dumber, and that was about as stupid as it gets). If you fire out one stupid joke after another for and hour and a half, some of them are bound to hit the target. So it's not a complete whirling pit of despair after all...But it's hanging onto the edge of the precipice by the skin of its teeth. The pointless and badly set up Sasquatch sequence will provide a few giggles after it's crow-barred unceremoniously into the movie for no apparent reason other than presumably to stem the tide of predictability, only to be brought slamming back down to earth with the aforementioned tree + balls = pain joke. That's how this films plays out, one shining moment of glory (well, almost) fooling you into thinking things are about to get better, only to cripple your hopes with another instance of toilet humour or another self-referential joke.

Now I mentioned there were some genuinely funny moments.
Where the film comes into its own is musically. Let's forget about what little score there is, it's a painfully familiar sounding comedy film score. The genius of the film comes from the D songs. The songs are so well crafted that they can even get away with the toilet humour without a cringe, they are without a doubt the best thing about the whole film. Clever, catchy and hilariously relevant to the on screen events. The times when I was laughing, it was because of the music. So why not save yourself half an hour and just listen to the CD? Well, you'll miss the references to the events on screen that way and I have to say that's the only reason I can think of to watch this film. At the very beginning of the film you could be forgiven for thinking you were in for some kind of epic rock musical and the film would have been better had it kept up that premise.

Wait! I hear you cry, aren't there some cameos worth mentioning in this movie? Why yes, there are, let me mention them. Can a film with cameos from Tim Robbins and Ben Stiller be disregarded as having no merit in said cameos? Yes. Yes it can. Stiller is resolutely unfunny and tries his best to ruin one of the best moments of the film. Tim Robbins fairs better and actually provides a couple of the giggles, but it's nothing you'll regret missing.

To be fair, your first warning light should have started flashing right around the 'directed by' part. I think I'm safe in saying Mr. Lynch's back catalogue of directing projects leaves something to be desired and he won't be chalking up a winner with this one either. It's true that you don't need to be an amazing director to make a good comedy film. You do however have to have a good script and some good comic actors and as always, the editing is key...Oops. I'll never know how much of a hand Lynch had in the script, but he's shouldering the blame along with Black and Gass. We could blame Lynch for a number of things that made this film bad...So should we? The bad acting, well you can only do so much with the actors you're given I suppose and when they're Jack Black and Kyle Gass you have my sympathy. The editing I feel sure I can blame on Lynch. A little work might have had the film feel tighter and more driven, instead of badly paced. That oh so familiar generic sounding comedy scoring leaves me wondering if he's deaf.

In short, Pick of Destiny is tired, unoriginal and badly executed. It's the D doing what the D do, for far too long. Make it stop now, please?